In social work we talk a lot about self care. We talk about taking time out for yourself, relaxation techniques, unloading our stress by talking or writing a journal, that kind of stuff. What we really need to do is have a love affair with ourselves.
In my head I just heard a bunch of huh?, that’s weird, and what the heck are you talking about. I am not talking about a physical love affair. I am talking about a spiritual/emotional love affair. Seriously think about what it is like to have a love affair. What does it look like? What does it feel like? What do you do in that love affair?
When you are having a love affair do you beat that other person down with negativity? No, absolutely not! You build them up. You point out the things you like about them. You nourish the character traits that you like in them to reinforce that those character traits aren’t squelched. You consciously work at making them happy and to feel good about themselves. Why not do that for yourself? When you do something well celebrate it, embrace it, give yourself credit for it. When you look in the mirror don’t down talk yourself. Tell yourself you are an amazing human being that brings light into the world.
In a love affair you do things for the other person to make them feel good and to feel happy. Do this for yourself also. Go do that thing you have always wanted to. Learn that thing you will probably never use but you have wanted to know. Go to that place you have wanted to go. Meet that person that inspires you. Challenge yourself to excel and be happy.
In a love affair you lift up the other person. Lift yourself up. When you get up in the morning and look in the mirror say to yourself “Good Morning Beautiful. You are going to do amazing things today because you are intelligent, well liked, and all around bad ass!” When something is going wrong look at the things that went well and learn from the rest. Don’t beat yourself up. Usually the wrong went wrong through no fault of your own. Do not take responsibility for other’s misfortune. You are only in control of you and your actions. Celebrate you.
You are an awesome person. You deserve happiness and peace and success. You are worth it!